The World Is Not What You Think

So, have you received any signals from extraterrestrial civilizations yet? Have your little telescopes found new life on distant planets? Have you managed to make contact with those flying plates, saucers, and frying pans? And how would you react if I told you that aliens conquered you a very long time ago and have been using you for their own purposes for thousands of years?

They do not need to physically come to your planet to make you work for them. All they need is for a little stone to accidentally fall onto Earth with some numbers on it, together with a few patterns that can be described using those numbers, and that is it. You “invent” mathematics.

Then this virus begins to enter the brains of many people and settle there. It feeds on the things that help neurons actively communicate with each other, so the neurons are no longer so lonely. They are always busy adding, subtracting, calculating proportions. They are always calculating something, and in return they get pleasure from the fact that the body does not have to run anywhere, catch anyone, kill anyone, or spend hours digging in the ground trying to find something. The extraterrestrial virus called mathematics conquered you and enslaved you a very long time ago, and you are still looking for little green men. How funny you are...

Why do you go to a shop, buy food that costs a certain amount of money, and then there is a dot, followed by more numbers? And very often there is .99 at the end, so that you never stop counting, so that the counting never has to end. If one product costs 1.99, then when you buy a second product, you still cannot escape the numbers after the dot. Buy four products, buy fifteen products — there will still be something after the dot. You are always counting. All the time.

Even when there is already nothing left, the virus tells you that there is still something, and you “invent” zero, just so you can do things with it. Mathematics can calculate absolutely anything: how much tax you have to pay, how many miles you have to travel, how long you have been alive, how many calories you need to burn. Everything in your life is surrounded by digits, numbers, and calculations. Not a single part of your life can exist without numbers and counting. You go to sleep and think about what time you need to wake up. Numbers surround you. They took you hostage a very long time ago.

You enter this world, and immediately you are turned into numbers. Your weight is this much, your height is this much. You leave this world, and you are turned into numbers again. You lived for this many years, you died at this time. You have been gone for years, and they still turn you into numbers: “Oh, he has been gone for this many years already.”

Well, they have just come into my room. They are going to give me another precisely calculated number of pills so that I stop telling everyone the truth, so that I stop disturbing other people with my stories about how mathematics invented the Internet in order to turn people into data and put their thoughts, their minds, inside the Internet. Because once your thoughts are there, it becomes very easy to send the most valuable things you have over any distance. We do not need your bodies. We need your thoughts, your calculations, your emotions, the things you leave behind on the Internet...

I will go and tell the others that all it takes is for an apple to “accidentally” fall on your head, and PHYSICS will begin growing inside your brain. And those are different alien life forms. Our competitors. Our enemies. I will tell you all about them after these mathematically precise doses of medicine stop working.